Critique and Feedback

The hand in and feedback session didn't go quite as badly as last time!

Unfortunately, I was unable to get music in time, something that I still need to work on. This has been difficult because of all the story and animatic changes, and with my story music is very important, and has to be timed very specifically in some parts.

One of the main issues people had were that some parts were not clear, and this may or may not be down to the lack of sound. Whatever the problem, it is clear that I still have a lot of things to work on.

This Tuesday we had one on one feedback sessions with Leonie, to get our results back and a more in depth critique. I am currently marked in the C9-C10 area for my film, and while I know I can do much better, it is not a bad mark considering I had to redo most of my film in a short space of time.

The feedback I got included the film being very ambitious, and that I should enlist the help of 1st and 2nd years for compositing and colouring work especially. I definitely agree with this, and some friends have already volunteered to help if they have the time!

I was also told once again that I need to make some parts of the film clearer, which I already knew from the previous critique. The film relies on character animation, so I need to make sure that everything in that aspect is perfect, or as close as possible for the film to be clear to the viewer. I need to beable to show what the characters are thinking, and at this point that aspect is not coming across. One of the main sections that needed to be clearer was the dog. I need to better convey that the dog is calling for her, and later protecting her from the other dogs. I also need to show that the dog is still watching over and protecting her at the end of the film.

I was advised to look at animated dog films for reference on dog character animation, so I shall probably watch and research films such as Lady and the Tramp and 101 Dalmatians in the near future!

It was also suggested to me to leave some more subtle clues to the audience regarding the dog, maybe celtic references in the graveyard, an idea which I quite like and will definitely try to incorporate into the scene!

One of the main points in the critique was that the chasing aspect was not working. The dog has come to retrieve the girl, even if she doesn't realise it herself, so making her chase after him is probably not the best route. Together we worked out an alternate version of the story which is as follows:

-The dog is stern at first, 'proffessional'. The little girl is friendly but the dog is not interested.

-The little girl climbs onto the dogs back and they set off, with the journey getting progressively scarier for the girl until she stops the dog and gets off his back.

-Other dogs appear and they are menacing, but the dog chases them off effortlessly, maybe with a look or a simple gesture. It is here that the dog 'realises' that she is scared and comforts her.

-At this point the girl is ready to move on, and the dog takes her to the underworld, perhaps by way of a tree (Like Sleepy Hollow) and she crawls through to the field of flowers.

I think that this version has a lot going for it, so I am going to work with this and see what happens!

Updated Animatic

Here is the updated version of my animatic, featuring the coloured frames and pieces of concept art, and also some basic pans and zooms. It still needs a lot of work, especially the bit where the girl is considering to return to the church, and music will definitely help, but I don't have time to change it before the critique on monday

Concept Art: Left alone

Like the previous post, this is a quick blocked image taken from the storyboard. It is without the texture that defines the film, and also without shading.

Concept Art: Sitting at the grave

A quick piece of concept art with blocked colour. I may or may not finish this piece eventually, but I think that it was interesting to see it in this style

Concept art: Field of flowers

A concept piece showing the girl looking on at the field of flowers. In this scene I want the field to pan around her, as if she is looking everywhere, so that the viewer can see that the field goes on and on

Concept art: Sleeping in the fields

A concept of the little girl asleep in the field of flowers. This is one ofmy favourite scenes, and everything from this scene onwards is meant to look a little brighter and more cheerful. No more snow or dark forests, it is a place that the little girl can feel safe.

Concept art: The wide river

Concept piece of the little girl and dog at the river. I need to work on this scene a lot, but I think that it is a pretty important scene because it is the point of no return for the girl. I'm not entirely sure on the style of the water just yet though

Concept art: Waiting on the hill

A concept piece showing the dog waiting on the hill for the little girl. I like how this turned out, especially with the moon! Once again, this was taken from the storyboard

Concept art: Opening scene

A concept of the opening scene to the film. The sketch was taken directly from the storyboard and then cleaned up

Concept art: The grave

This concept art was done to figure out where everything on the grave went, despite most of it being hidden by snow! I also did another version where everything was covered by snow at the end. I felt that having the picture of the girl set in a field of flowers would offer an explanation to the viewer as to why she was in one when she passed on, or why the field of flowers brought her so much happiness!

Animatic version 2

Here is my second try at an animatic. This is by no means the final piece, but I am pretty happy with how everything looks. I think that there are some timing issues, and some bits may move too slowly, but i'll never know for sure until the linetests are done, and I think that it is best to over compensate on the timing rather than under compensate! I still need to talk to the person who is doing the music. I had hoped i'd have a first draft of the music by now, but unfortunately this looks like it won't be happening.

Storyboards: Final?

Here are the storyboards that will hopefully be the last set! I am pretty happy with them, though there are a few things that may or may not change, depending on the amount of time I have and whether or not there are more effective ways to do things! The first few storyboards are shaded to get a sense of lighting, though I did not have the time to finish the rest

Storyboards: First drafts

These are the 1st drafts of the storyboard for my new film idea. As you might notice, they have not been finished. This is because I realised that I had many frames that I was unhappy with, and I was making things too complicated for myself. I realised that there were certain parts that could be made much easier,and so I started over. One big difference was that instead of climbing over a style, I would have the little girl get through a hole in the bush, which would not only be easier, but would take upless time.

The rough storyboard

Here is the new rough storyboard I created to get an idea of where angles might go best. There is a lot of trial and error involved in this, but despite this I think that I managed to get what I wanted across quite well! The next task is to draw these up clearer and to make sure that the angles I have are the best ones for the film.

Rough floor plan

This is a very rough floor plan for the church, graveyard, and the style with the field leading to the river. It also includes the opening to the forest, which is where the girls journey in the 'real' world ends. This was done to help me get a rough idea of where things could go, so I don't suffer from consistency errors!

Planning for storyboards

A few photos of the notes I made to begin planning out the storyboard. I did this for the graveyard scene only because I ended up running out of time and decided to work everything out in the actual storyboard stage! However,making these notes helped me alot in this scene

Concept art: Crossing the river

Another concept based on an earlier sketch. Here the girl is beginning to cautiously cross the river. In my film I want the river to be an improtant part, because once she passes the river, she cannot turn back. She hesitated at first, and considered returning to the graveyard, but soon decided that she did not want to be alone and would prefer the company of the dog. It is the first step to her moving on and accepting her death, and the point of no return. I think that the river scene is important because of this, and also because of how rivers are used in mythology as a crossover onto the land of the dead, e.g. the river Styx

Concept art: Entering the forest

A concept design I did based off one of the quick sketches I did earlier. I really liked the idea of the girl entering the forest this way, almost as if she were entering a different world, with it snowing so heavily outside but inside there being nothing but darkeness and strangely shaped trees. The forest is meant to be scary to the girl, as this is where the main conflict of the film happens. She does not notice how scary it is at first because she is focusing on following the dog, but it soon becomes intimidating to her when she looses her guide.