Thursday 10 March 2011

Discarded story draft

Another discarded story draft I did on the train before I had the critique with Leonie. I decided to put it up because some of the ideas I had within it crossed over to the new story draft.

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The snow fell heavily onto the small graveyard, covering the grey stone markers with a thick layer of white snow. The wind howled ominously through the trees, blowing small pockets of powdery snow from the branches. The graveyard was cold, dark, and uninviting, on that cold winters night. Not even the local wildlife stirred, and the graveyard was silent. Under a spindly, dead tree lay a new addition to the graveyard. As white as the other markers, this grave was decorated with snow covered flowers and ornaments, small tokens left behind by grieving loved ones. There also sat a small girl, not even metres away from the grave. She huddled gloomily in the snow, bundled up in a thick winter coat and bright red scarf. She stared down at the grave sadly, making no indication of moving any time soon, toying with a small red flower picked from the numerous bouquets adorning the headstone.


The snow danced around her, and she glanced up, pulling her arms around her as she did so, accidentally letting go of the flower, which was quickly captured by the wind. Looking up in alarm, she spun around to chase it with her eyes, stopping suddenly, and looking up in undisguised awe. Upon the hill, with the flower resting at his feet, stood a dog. Tall and majestic and as white as the snow that surrounded it, the dog stared down at her, before leaning down to nose at the flower, sniffing at it curiously. The girl got up carefully, smiling at the dog, and shuffling nearer to the flower, keeping wary eyes on the large dog. The dog stood still, almost as if it was a statue, and the girl edged nearer. When the girl had almost reached the dog, it leapt up with an excited yip, causing the girl to jump in surprise and disturbing the flower, the wind picking it up again and sending it flying back down the hill. With a sigh that was half frustration, half amusement, the girl turned to the dog, jolting in surprise as she realised that it was no longer there. Looking down, she saw foot prints leading off to a small bush, and the girl followed them curiously. She wasn't tall enough to look over the hedge, but a small gap in the bottom of the hedge proved to be big enough to peer through. She soon spotted the dog who was now sniffing curiously at the edge of a bubbly river, and with a grin she pushed through the hedge, brushing twigs and leaves away as she reappeared the other end. By now the dog had crossed the stream, and watched her innocently as she came to the river and stared down in dismay. The closer she got, the more violent and scary the stream appeared. She dipped a finger in the stream hesitantly, immediately pulling out as she felt the force and ice cold touch of the river. She looked up at the dog and frowned. By now the dog had moved again, and it was watching her from the edge of a forest. It wagged its tail hopefully, and cocked its head, as if to ask whether or not the girl would follow. The girl took a deep breath, and cautiously moved a foot to rest on the first stepping stone to cross the river, a look of concentration clear on her face. When the stone did not move from underneath her, she took another careful step, planting her other foot on the next stone. Once again, the stone stood firm, and she smiled, her confidence renewed. From there, she crossed the stream quickly, becoming more confident with each step, and reaching the other side with a proud grin. She looked back for a brief moment, seeing the spindly church tower from over the hedge, before turning to find the dog.


Once again the dog was nowhere to be found, and she stared up at the forest, the trees towering high above her. The dog had gone that way, she was sure, and she warily entered the forest, very conscious of the tall dark trees and shadows that almost seemed to move. There was no snow here. It couldn't penetrate the thick barrier that the trees had formed, but it only made the forest darker and more intimidating. She soon came to a clearing and stopped, looking all around her for the dog, before jumping in fear at a sudden rustling sound. Out of one thick bunch of trees came a dog. It was bony and dark and growled at her menacingly, and the little girl backed away quickly, eyes wide with horror. It came closer, and was soon joined by two more dogs that cut off her escape. The little girl held her hands to her mouth, and shook her head in horror, backing away but never taking her eyes off the dogs, watching with a horrified stare. The little girl was soon backed into a tree, and sat down, curling up as if it would help to protect her. She shut her eyes tightly, covering her face with her arms.


A sudden sound caused her to look up in disbelief. Before her stood another dog, the one that she had been following, and the other dogs slunk away, returning to the shadows. The little girl wiped the tears from her eyes, and watched the dog as he came closer, reaching out a hand hesitantly to touch the dog, who pushed its nose to her hand before giving her a comforting lick. She smiled and hugged the dog tightly, the dog wagging its tail at the attention, before they both pulled away.


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I didn't get very far with it, but it did help with planning!

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